Too Late
I took an elevator up the Empire State
to take a look at New York City;
met a girl in the lift, whose smile was a gift,
and she said it was a pity
we hadn't met an hour before,
which wasn't what I needed;
Then she stepped out the door,
and I stared at the floor as my fantasy receded.
I'm always just too late, to catch the moment when it comes.
I'm always at the table when the best that's left is crumbs.
I'm always just too late to catch the world when its on song.
I'm always out of the bunch, lonely at lunch;
Where did I go wrong?
I met a friend of a friend of a friend
and got invited to a party;
I offered a ride, and I could have cried
when the motor wouldn't start.
He said he'd try and get a cab,
and I could wait for the RAC van;
then he stepped out the car,
he said he'd save me a jar,
but he was glad he wasn't me, man.
I'm always just too late, to catch the moment when it comes.
I'm always at the table when the best that's left is crumbs.
I'm always just too late to catch the world when its on song.
I'm always out of the bunch, lonely at lunch;
Where did I go wrong?
I can't believe it's down to luck
I can't believe it's down to fate
I can't believe, I can't believe,
But I'm always just too late.
I decided to take a little trip to see
the girl I'd set my heart on.
I rehearsed my lines about a million times
to tell we would never part.
On arriving at her street
I thought I'd timed it to perfection;
but there was nothing to say
'cos she was driving away
in the opposite direction
I'm always just too late, to catch the moment when it comes.
I'm always at the table when the best that's left is crumbs.
I'm always just too late to catch the world when its on song.
I'm always out of the bunch, lonely at lunch;
Where did I go wrong?
I'm always just too late, to catch the moment when it comes.
I'm always at the table when the best that's left is crumbs.
(repeat to fade)
If I Could Be (Your Milkman)
If I - I - I - I - I
If I could be your dustman, collecting once a week
I'd jump from the cart at the top of your road
Run to the bottom and your abode
Look in every window for a glimpse of you
Oh for a glimpse of you
If I could be your milkman, delivering once a day
I'd whistle a tune as the sun peeps through
Hoping the words would speak to you
Trigger off romance in your thoughts
Oh to be in your thoughts
You wonder why - you wonder why?
Well I wanna be your man
You wonder why - you wonder why?
Well I wanna be your man
If I, If I, If I - I - I - I - I
If I could be your postman, delivering twice a day
I'd send you a parcel to arrive at four
Knowing you'd be there to open the door
Then I could see you face to face
Oh to be face to face
You wonder why - you wonder why?
Well I wanna be your man
You wonder why - you wonder why?
Well I wanna be your man
I wanna be your man
I wanna be your man
I wanna be your man
I wanna be b be b be (x7) be
If I could be your next man, seeing you night and day,
I'd run my fingers thorough your hair
Call you darling - everywhere
We could go dancing cheek to cheek
Oh to be cheek to cheek
You wonder why - you wonder why?
Well I wanna be your man
You wonder why - you wonder why?
Well I wanna be your man
Yea, I wanna be your man (x5)
Last Night, My Wife, Hoovered My Head
J Edgar Hoover was a sinister man
He had a sinister face and a sinister plan
Although he was sinister, it must be said
J Edgar Hoover never hoovered my head
Last night, my wife, hoovered my head
Last night, my wife, hoovered my head
I was going round the house, hoovering about
My wife grabbed the hoover and my hair fell out
Last night, my wife, hoovered my head
Well, Samson was a man who was very very strong
When he got married he knew it wasn't long
He said to himself I'm gonna be dead
The day Delilah hoovers my head
Last night, my wife, hoovered my head (yes she did)
Last night, my wife, hoovered my head
I was going round the house, hoovering about
My wife grabbed the hoover and my hair fell out
Last night, my wife, hoovered my head
People say its easy but it ain't no beach
When you're cleaning up the places where the lead won't reach
Getting in the corner is a bit of a dog
If you're hoovering the kitchen and the plug's in the bog
Household chores are becoming a drag
So unplug the hoover and change your bag
Well Elisha, Isaiah and Amos were all completely bald
They all got their heads hoovered on the day that they were called
They prophesied to the children about justice, peace and love
And they kept their heads real shiny with that hoover from above
I'm well aware that I don't have a book named after me
But I know that I've been hoovered so a prophet's what I'll be
I'm gonna prophesy here, prophesy there
I know that I'm a prophet cos I got no hair
Last night my wife hoovered my head
Well, now that I'm a prophet I'm gonna be frank
I'm not exactly laughing all teh way to teh bank
But I go everywhere with a fearless tread
Since my wife hoovered my head
Last night, my wife, hoovered my head (yes she did)
Last night, my wife, hoovered my head
I was going round the house, hoovering about
My wife grabbed the hoover and my hair fell out
Last night, my wife, hoovered my head
Hier soir, ma femme vacuumait ma tete
Hier soir, ma femme vacuumait ma tete
Je promenais chez moi avec le vacuum
Ma femme l'a saizi, et ma tete a eclate
Hier soir, ma femme vacuumait ma tete (once more)
Last night, my wife, hoovered my head (yes she did)
Last night, my wife, hoovered my head
I was going round the house, hoovering about
My wife grabbed the hoover and my hair fell out
Last night, my wife, hoovered my head
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